#1 snack food in America

I know I've been away from my blog for a while. I've been busy doing this and that and blah blah blah... I’ve been trying to regroup with all the new busy changes in my life (some good and some confusing and annoying as hell). So what do I want to talk about tonight? Simple. Chips.

Bar-B-Q Ruffles; Smokey Bacon Lays; Jalapeno and Cheddar Doritos; Sour Cream n' Bacon Ruffles WHAT!? Where did I get all these ridiculously awesome sounding flavors you've never had? Freaking Canada, eh! Just Kidding! There is no need to go to Canada- my favorite chip companies have made it easy for me- I can buy them at almost any store. Did you know you can order chips off eBay? You can. Apparently certain flavors are only offered in certain areas/countries, and people make money by selling bags of chips to pigs that can’t live without these flavors. This works out to be like 8 bucks a bag. Is it worth it? Sadly I would say very. So without further ado, after months of research, here is my review

Bold BBQ Doritos: Chip lunatics may remember that before Doritos created BBQ and cheddar chips a few years ago (then cancelled, brought back, and cancelled again), they sold BBQ Doritos. And they were awesome, right? Well, they still are. They're strong, kind of tangy, and spicy at times, and mix really well with the corn chip flavor to add a hidden smokiness too. B.

Bar-B-Q Ruffles: These also used to be sold everywhere in the US, first under "K.C. Masterpiece BBQ," then as "Authentic BBQ." They are still sold out west, and they still rule. They have a very weird thing to them- the flavor seems to change by each chip. Sometimes they're smoky to the point of too much, sometimes they're really sweet, and sometimes they almost taste like vinegar. This makes each handful more interesting, and makes them hard to put down. "What flavor will they be next?!" If you're a Ruffles fan these are worth the buy. B.

Smokey Bacon Lays: These are weird and awesome. Bacon is always a tough flavor to recreate, and often bacon flavored snacks just taste like weird chemicals and honestly suck ass. Well, these fall in between. The first few chips will confuse you- Is that bacon? Uh.... kind of chemical-flavored... oh wait, that's kinda awesome! They aren't 100% bacon, but whatever combination of chemicals they use to try and create bacon is wonderful. And as with all Lay's chips, the flavor is only increased and intensified when you get to the greasy bottom-of-the-bag remnants, leaving you wanting more. B-

Jalapeno and Cheddar Doritos: These chips are AWESOME, and by some quick internet searches, may be on the verge of disappearance. I would have taken a picture, but I ate them too fast. These are great because of 2 reasons- 1. Too many things that feature jalapeno do it to add spice, and because jalapeno is all the rage and it's become trendy to add it to things. But these are good because they perfectly capture the flavor of jalapeno without the spice. Sure, there is some kick, but you mostly just taste delicious jalapeno flavor. And 2. They mix in delicious cheese. Let's face it, jalapenos are good, but sometimes they are kind of blah on their own. The creaminess of the cheddar mixed with the pepper kick... mmm. I'm getting hungry and furious that I can't tear into a bag of these right now. These chips are fantastic. A. (would have been an A+ but they got a little bit less delicious towards the end- I think the spice took over at the end of the bag and made them a bit less awesome)

Sour Cream n' Bacon Ruffles: So let me get this straight- America, a morbidly obese country completely obsessed with adding bacon to everything we possibly can don't get these chips, and Canada, a country that shit on the face of bacon by creating their OWN SPECIAL BACON (it's just ham Canada, come on, we know) get to eat these all the time? How is that fair? These chips rule. Hard. My first bite, I said, "ok, it's the same fake bacon chemicals they used in the Lay's ones, just on ruffles..." then I said "oh wait... this is mixed with sour cream... oh man... that works sooo well" and then I said "oh no... this has an aftertaste that is 100% bacon... oh man" and then I said "MMFLLRLFH" (that's me jamming my face in the bag and trying to breathe in potato chips). These are an awesome idea for chips, and they 100% delivered. I will be buying these again, if I can find them. Hey Ruffles, why don't you stop creating pathetic gimmick flavors for a month at a time and make these a permanent fixture?!! A.

Oh yea- side note: if you manage to find these, watch out for when you burp an hour later. HORRIBLE. The burp aftertaste is a demon straight from hell. I need to find an exorcist... or maybe just a breath mint.