Moody Wednesday....

When you're hurt by someone you love and trust, you become angry, sad, or confused. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance — but if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life. But how do you define the boundaries and move forward? I'm sad for what simply isn't and will never be. I give up trying.

i need a nap zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Naptime is not just for kindergarteners. A whole body of research shows that a midday snooze can increase productivity and alertness and Naps can often be the perfect weapons to combat midafternoon sluggishness, which tends to hit between 2 and 5 p.m.
So HOW & WHEN does one get the best results from a Nap?
1. The Odd Couple: Coffee and a Nap Turns out that a cup of joe won't ruin your nap, it will actually enhance it. A 2003 Japanese study found that you can alleviate sleepiness by combining a short snooze with coffee. Sound counterintuitive? Here's how it works: caffeine takes about 20 minutes to a half-hour to kick in, just enough time for you to nap. That way, if you've had a coffee-primed nap, the benefits are twofold: you've rested and you're ready to go when you wake.
2. The Nicest Nap: It’s said that 2 or 3 p.m. is the ideal nap hour—late enough to fit into your natural siesta zone but early enough that it will not interfere with your night sleep.
3. Length Does Matter: A good nap length is somewhere between 20 and 30 minutes. This will give you the restorative benefits of sleep without the lethargy or grogginess—aka "sleep drunkenness."
4. Making the Bed: Location may be the toughest nap quandary. You may have to turn your cubicle into a makeshift nap room—but that means you'll probably have to be all right with curling up under your desk. Heading to your parked car is another option—but of course you should make sure a window is open and the engine is not running.
5. Set an Alarm: Chances are, if you're tired enough to take a nap, you will not magically wake up on your own accord. So set an alarm, both to avoid the grogginess of a long nap and to make sure you don't sleep through anything important.
6. Keep It Consistent: Working that 20-minute nap into a particular sleep routine to make it part of your body's expected circadian rhythm.
7. Be an Alert Napper: If you always feel the need for a nap, think about your nightly sleep schedule. Are you down to only five or six hours? While a 20-minute nap is a good refresher, it will not make up for hours lost at night. Conversely, if you're getting eight hours of sleep each night yet still feel the need to nap, that might be the sign of a sleep disorder, or another health problem.

REALITY CHECK!! Nap time? Really? Who has time for that?! lol

#1 snack food in America

I know I've been away from my blog for a while. I've been busy doing this and that and blah blah blah... I’ve been trying to regroup with all the new busy changes in my life (some good and some confusing and annoying as hell). So what do I want to talk about tonight? Simple. Chips.

Bar-B-Q Ruffles; Smokey Bacon Lays; Jalapeno and Cheddar Doritos; Sour Cream n' Bacon Ruffles WHAT!? Where did I get all these ridiculously awesome sounding flavors you've never had? Freaking Canada, eh! Just Kidding! There is no need to go to Canada- my favorite chip companies have made it easy for me- I can buy them at almost any store. Did you know you can order chips off eBay? You can. Apparently certain flavors are only offered in certain areas/countries, and people make money by selling bags of chips to pigs that can’t live without these flavors. This works out to be like 8 bucks a bag. Is it worth it? Sadly I would say very. So without further ado, after months of research, here is my review

Bold BBQ Doritos: Chip lunatics may remember that before Doritos created BBQ and cheddar chips a few years ago (then cancelled, brought back, and cancelled again), they sold BBQ Doritos. And they were awesome, right? Well, they still are. They're strong, kind of tangy, and spicy at times, and mix really well with the corn chip flavor to add a hidden smokiness too. B.

Bar-B-Q Ruffles: These also used to be sold everywhere in the US, first under "K.C. Masterpiece BBQ," then as "Authentic BBQ." They are still sold out west, and they still rule. They have a very weird thing to them- the flavor seems to change by each chip. Sometimes they're smoky to the point of too much, sometimes they're really sweet, and sometimes they almost taste like vinegar. This makes each handful more interesting, and makes them hard to put down. "What flavor will they be next?!" If you're a Ruffles fan these are worth the buy. B.

Smokey Bacon Lays: These are weird and awesome. Bacon is always a tough flavor to recreate, and often bacon flavored snacks just taste like weird chemicals and honestly suck ass. Well, these fall in between. The first few chips will confuse you- Is that bacon? Uh.... kind of chemical-flavored... oh wait, that's kinda awesome! They aren't 100% bacon, but whatever combination of chemicals they use to try and create bacon is wonderful. And as with all Lay's chips, the flavor is only increased and intensified when you get to the greasy bottom-of-the-bag remnants, leaving you wanting more. B-

Jalapeno and Cheddar Doritos: These chips are AWESOME, and by some quick internet searches, may be on the verge of disappearance. I would have taken a picture, but I ate them too fast. These are great because of 2 reasons- 1. Too many things that feature jalapeno do it to add spice, and because jalapeno is all the rage and it's become trendy to add it to things. But these are good because they perfectly capture the flavor of jalapeno without the spice. Sure, there is some kick, but you mostly just taste delicious jalapeno flavor. And 2. They mix in delicious cheese. Let's face it, jalapenos are good, but sometimes they are kind of blah on their own. The creaminess of the cheddar mixed with the pepper kick... mmm. I'm getting hungry and furious that I can't tear into a bag of these right now. These chips are fantastic. A. (would have been an A+ but they got a little bit less delicious towards the end- I think the spice took over at the end of the bag and made them a bit less awesome)

Sour Cream n' Bacon Ruffles: So let me get this straight- America, a morbidly obese country completely obsessed with adding bacon to everything we possibly can don't get these chips, and Canada, a country that shit on the face of bacon by creating their OWN SPECIAL BACON (it's just ham Canada, come on, we know) get to eat these all the time? How is that fair? These chips rule. Hard. My first bite, I said, "ok, it's the same fake bacon chemicals they used in the Lay's ones, just on ruffles..." then I said "oh wait... this is mixed with sour cream... oh man... that works sooo well" and then I said "oh no... this has an aftertaste that is 100% bacon... oh man" and then I said "MMFLLRLFH" (that's me jamming my face in the bag and trying to breathe in potato chips). These are an awesome idea for chips, and they 100% delivered. I will be buying these again, if I can find them. Hey Ruffles, why don't you stop creating pathetic gimmick flavors for a month at a time and make these a permanent fixture?!! A.

Oh yea- side note: if you manage to find these, watch out for when you burp an hour later. HORRIBLE. The burp aftertaste is a demon straight from hell. I need to find an exorcist... or maybe just a breath mint.

sitting on a rooftop drinking ram's piss

Tea.

It smells like pee...seriously. I would imagine it would taste as nasty as it smells too. Tea does rhyme with wee- coincidence? It takes FOREVER to brew. Coffee is easy- throw it in the coffee maker and push on and WHAM! We have Coffee. Tea however comes in a little bag and I have to put it in the water, take it out, put it in, take it out, blah blah blah...like i have NOTHING else to do right? Then there are the fruit flavor teas that taste like warm squash with a nasty after taste as if it have been rotting in the box not to mention they are more expensive. Mint tea is just mint in hot water how special is that? Why not save yourself some cash and buy mint mouth wash- just add water and you have the same taste of mint tea AND fresh enjoyable breath....and why in the hell do come people call tea 'Char'? What does that even mean?

tea- it's rubbish :-P

Valentine's Day Poem (not for kids)

Hearts and roses and kisses galore,
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer,
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year.
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass,
Before I shove something up Cupid's ass.
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear black for the rest of the week.
Guys act all sweet, but soon it will fade,
For all they are doing is trying to get laid.
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Cause I think this love thing is a crock of shit.
So, here's my story... what else can I say?
Love bites my ass... Fuck Valentines Day!

Self-pity

Most of us (as far as I know) are raised with the belief that it is selfish and "wrong" to "feel sorry for yourself" - we're programmed with "Stop feeling sorry for yourself..." - and the idea of feeling sorry for yourself becomes confused and enmeshed with "wallowing" and negativity... but there is a Very Important difference....As we know, our feelings are our Guidance System. When experiencing hurt, anger, frustration, sorrow, depression, disappointment....etc. there is a natural urge which leads towards healing. If we were to "go with the flow" on feelings alone, most of us would probably feel really sorry for ourselves for a while, comfort ourselves, and then, find ways to feel better, and eventually get back into the game. A person who has been programmed against "feeling sorry for myself" will generally fight the natural urge to be compassionate with themselves, and will probably treat themselves in the same way as (and sometimes worse than) they were treated by whoever taught them this belief. And many others who have been programmed with this belief will rebel against it despite the belief.... and this comes out in complaining, and seeking acknowledgement and sympathy from others. It can also fester and become aggression, resentment... and of course a variety of other symptoms. That person will take much longer to heal (if they do at all) than someone who feels sorry for themselves until they feel better. There is a fear that feeling sorry for yourself is quicksand and that once you step into that mode; you're not going to come out of it again. That is called despondency, not "feeling sorry for yourself". And if you do a Good job of feeling sorry for yourself, despondency is not on the menu! If someone you love is physically hurt, it's highly unlikely you'd have no sympathy or compassion for them and that you'd push them and forces them to keep going and ignore their cries of pain. You'd probably look after them, treat them kindly and compassionately, encourage them to rest, maybe even spoil them a little, and do what you could to make them feel better and to speed their healing. And yet we usually don't treat our own emotional, mental and spiritual pain and healing in the same way.

So, go ahead and feel sorry for yourself! Give yourself permission. It's giving yourself a soft place to fall before you rest, recover and get up again.

Simply Tao

Man I am terrible about keeping up with this thing lol
Ok I have ha a LOT of people ask me about my 'religion' lately so I thought I would take a moment to explain Taoism to the lot of ya (although it is more of an indivudual spiritual journey by each of us then an organized religion....but I digress). So here goes :-)

What is Taoism?

To many people, a confusing aspect of Taoism is its very definition. Many religions will happily teach a Philosophy/Dogma which in reflection defines a person. Taoism flips this around. It starts by teaching a truth; “The Tao” is indefinable. It then follows up by teaching that each person can discover the Tao in their own terms. A teaching like this can be very hard to grasp when most people desire very concrete definitions in their own life.

A simply way to start learning the definition of Taoism is to start within yourself.

Here are three easy starting steps to learning Taoism:
1.Don’t concentrate on the definition of the Tao (this will come later naturally)
2. Understand what Taoism really is. Taoism is more than just a “philosophy” or a “religion”. Taoism should be understood as being: A system of belief, attitudes and practices set towards the service and living to a person’s own nature.
3.The path of understanding Taoism is simply accepting yourself. Live life and discover who you are. Your nature is ever changing and is always the same. Don’t try to resolve the various contradictions in life, instead learn acceptance of your nature.

Taoism teaches a person to flow with life. Over the years Taoism has become many things to many people. Hundreds of variations in Taoist practice exist. Some of these practices are philosophical in nature, others are religious. Taoism makes no distinction in applying labels to its own nature. This is important since as a person, we are each a blend of many truths. The truth taught in Taoism is to embrace life in actions that support you as a person.

Taoism teaches a person to live to their heart.

Having a set of basic guidelines can be helpful. However realistically, guidelines don’t determine how to live; Instead Taoism teaches by living you will express your nature.
My personal guidelines are the following:
•With care, I aid those who are extended expressions of my nature.
•Be true to myself
•Connect to the world as I want to be treated.
•Connect to those outside my nature with decisive action.
•To those unwilling to accept me for my true nature, no action is required:
Just silently let them be themselves as I remain myself.
•I own nothing; I am merely a passing custodian of items outside of my nature.

Discover a set of practices to aid keeping the mind, body and spirit engaged and strong. Remember practices should support your essence with the activities fitting the needs of the moment. Which means this is a shifting balance of activities relative to your needs. For example I practice zumba to keep my body strong, yoga to make my body subtle, meditation to clear my mind, run around simply to fly and lift my spirit. Painting as a lens of examination. All these and more are my shifting practices to support my essence and in doing each, each helps me learn more about myself and the world.

Take time, relax and just explore and poke around. Taoism has no plans. Taoism is based upon following your gut feelings and trusting your instincts. It’s within the pause of a breath… that each step of living becomes visible for your larger life to improve and follow upon.

Smile, when needing to pick a possible next step. To smile is to open possibilities. Breathe when needing a break. Since to breathe is to be at one with yourself. Alternate the two and your path will become free and clear for an entire lifetime of wonder to explore.

This may sound simple, but you would be surprise how many people cannot embrace this most basic aspect of Taoist practice! People think it cannot be that simple! Taoism truly is this simple. Most people need time letting go of expectations.

I can summarize Taoism as simply as

Taoism is acceptance of your life.
Taoism is following your breath to find peace.
Taoism is opening up a smile to enable possibility.

If you embrace these three ideas, everything else follows in Taoism. Some people do start here. Others take a longer more colorful path. That’s fine also, since you get to experience more color in your life.

No wrong path exists at the end, since it’s about experiencing life.